Another good week at the House!

1 March 2010 – Journal #9


Today could not have been better. My parents came to visit me and were able to come with to the House. I not only had the opportunity to share my experience with them, but Sandra gave them a wonderful tour that I got to take part in and I learned even more about the House. My morning was still similar to always I just got to do everything with my mom and dad there too. First we met with Sandra as a group and then I went off to the nursery. I introduced my parents to all of the children and we sat and played with them for awhile. We took them outside and had all the ones that could walk on little bikes! Next Sandra took my parents and me on a tour. I gained a much greater understanding of AIDs and the ARV situation here in South Africa. The way the government gives money and ARVs out doesn’t make sense or seem practical to me which is frustrating. I also learned more about Sandra and how passionate she is about her job. She is a tough woman but that is what the kids and the Haven need. After the tour we went to the playschool which was a blast. We played the sing and dance along songs with the kids again and they did such a great job listening and playing. I was happy that the kids were already getting acquainted and familiar with the songs. I think the songs are a wonderful way to help the children learn about their surroundings, about listening, and following directions.

I also learned how great of an impact volunteering at the House has had on me. It was wonderful to hear from my parents how much they have seen me change, grow and become more confident and so loving towards the kids. It was also moving for me to see how touched my parents were by all the kids in their one short morning at the House. From seeing how moved my parents were I learned a lot about giving. How giving of ourselves and of our time is so important and I also learned a lesson in when a gift of money is a good idea. My parents felt something at the House and with those kids and hence that is when it makes sense to give a greater gift, not out of pity, or guilt, or wanting to just make someone’s problems go away.

After today I’m interested to learn something totally different than what I’ve previously mentioned. I want to learn more about myself and reflect on my experience to a greater degree. I’m realizing more and more that these kids will probably have a greater impact on my life than I will on theirs because they are so young and experience many wonderful volunteers coming in and out of their life. However my life will forever be impacted by these young children and I don’t want to forget or miss out on anything of the wonderful things I learn from them or learn about myself in the process.

2 March 2, 2010 – Journal #10

Today the House was a little crazy. I was with the nursery children the entire time however we were in the lounge most of the morning and not in the actual nursery which seemed to throw the children off. I constantly felt as if I was walking a child around, bouncing them, and singing to them because they were fussy. It wasn’t that the kids were misbehaving some of them were just off. I took Tylo to the nurse and he got medicine to help him out as I think he had a bit of a fever. Dese another little girl was fussy because she had a very dirty diaper that leaked out on the couch and on my leg. This was quite an experience for me!

It was still a very good day because I felt that my presence was really needed to take care of the kids but I was frustrated because it didn’t feel as if the care taker in the nursery was doing a good job. She kept giving us things to do that she is responsible for and showed the kids no attention and was unwilling to change their leaking diapers. This was hard to see because usually the care takers do an incredible job and appear to be very grateful for our help. This experience did teach me how much work it is to care after so many kids and how difficult it is to have hard workers since the job is so exhausting. I also learned how much a thank you can mean!

After today I want to learn how to approach Sandra or that Matron about our experience with one of the care takers. I would like to let them know about the experience with out just “tattling” on someone, but to make the situation better for the children. I do not like confrontation so this scares me a little bit but I know it’s something I need to learn how to do.

Week #4... Already?!

22 February 2010-Journal #7
Today we started out talking with Sandra at the House. This will be what we do each Monday morning from now on so that we can check in and address any questions or concerns we have. This morning we talked about discipline and how to handle disciplining the kids in a structured manner consistent with how the caregivers are already disciplining the kids. We learned that the best method they have found is to put the kids in time out. When we take them aside we need to sit them in a chair and gently hold their little faces to help them concentrate as we explain why they are in time out and then they have to remain there for a period of time based on their age. For example a 5year old would remain in time out for 5minutes. I hardly use timeouts in the nursery but I think this will be a good strategy.

We also talked to Sandra about our experience in South Africa all together. I learned a lot in this short conversation. She explained to us how important it is that we do not feel guilty when we see the poverty. Even when we are asked by a child for money it is not the right thing to just give it to them because this doesn't teach them what they need to be learning. This was hard to hear but makes sense and is important for me to know.

Once I was actually in the nursery I mainly spent my time playing with Cedriano. Sandra told us that it is okay and good for the kids to have a one on one connection as long as we don't ignore other kids and recognize that we are the ones who will have a harder time with leaving than the kids. I'm willing to take that on if it's good for Cedriano because I really want that little boy to know how wonderful he is and I want to see him smile more! He sat in my lap as we watched the Hannah Montana movie which I really enjoyed! It felt so good to have him cuddle up to me and appear to be comfortable. When the movie ended he continued to sit on my lap and climb on me. Usually the other children do this constantly but Cedriano normally doesn’t so I was glad he was playing more. It seems as if all of the children are becoming more comfortable with us.

I still can't get Cedriano (Cedi) to communicate with words and I want to learn how I can get him to trust me and feel comfortable enough to practice saying words and talking. I also want to learn more about how you sponsor a child at the haven. Since I can't just adopt one of these wonderful children at this point in my life I would like to explore how they get sponsored. Needless to say it was another day full of learning and good times at the House!


23 February 2010-Journal #8
Today was yet another good day at the House. We did the same things we always do in the nursery. Played with the kids, read to them, gave them their tea and biscuit, took them on walks, and watched little movies. We switched things up a little in the end by taking 3 of the children from the nursery over to the play school to play some games. A girl in our group burned a CD with some fun songs that had instructions on what to do throughout the song. The kids really seemed to enjoy it and were actually well behaved and followed along. During my short time in the play school I realized I would like to spend some more time over there because there is only so much that I can help with in the nursery, especially when some of the children start to fall asleep and take mid-morning naps.

I can’t say that I learned many new things today, but I can see that providing more structure for the kids is working well. The music we listened to was really helpful because it was both a game for the kids and a way of teaching them things. Giving timeouts is difficult as it probably will continue to be, but it is proving to be somewhat successful I think. I placed a child in timeout for the first time today and he cried when I set him down in the corner which was such a challenge for me, but the little boy settled down and didn’t misbehave or cry for awhile after that.

From watching how well the kids responded to the sing-a-long CD with its little instructions I learned that they have so much potential! I also saw how much they look out for one another. It was the most interaction I have seen the nursery kids have with the play school kids and they do know one another well and seem to look out for each other which was really beautiful to watch. Cedi was one of the kids we brought to the playschool. He didn’t really do the actions the CD was calling for but he did seem to enjoy watching the bigger kids.

Next week we will get a chance to see the hospital where these kids go and where many of them came from and I know this will be a big learning experience. I hope to learn more about where the funds come from that pay for the children’s hospital bills and what kind of training the staff at the hospital has. I grew up in Rochester, MN where the Mayo Clinic is located. Mayo is known worldwide for the excellent facilities and doctors it has and it’s the only hospital environment that I’ve ever been exposed to so I imagine it will be a lot for me to take in.

Week #3

15 February 2010

All weekend I was looking forward to getting back to the House since my experience last week was so wonderful and it was the same way again today.  Sandra, the “PA” (personal assistant) talked to us for about an hour and gave us backgrounds on about half of the children.  It was so interesting to learn where the different children have come from and if they still have contact with their parents.  I was surprised to find out that some parents do try and visit their kids at the Haven with the hopes of someday being able to take them back.  Many of the parents can’t take care of their children because they don’t have the funds to take care of themselves, they are sick, or they are still very young.

All of the stories we heard were sad and hard to hear but the fact that  those children are at the House now provides a lot of hope.  Knowing more about the kids made it easier for me to connect with them today.  It helped to hear more about their social skills and what they like to do.  I spent time in the chapel singing songs with three of the nursery kids today while Jim played the piano.  I adored watching the kids bob their heads and come close to trying to sing along.  It was nice and peaceful and the kids actually stayed quiet and listened.  All the songs we sang were vacation bible school type songs which are my favorite so not only was I teaching the kids something, hearing the words is good for me as well.

Now that I know some about the kids I hope to learn more about the orphanage itself.  In finding out about the children I learned how difficult the adoption process is here and how some of the children don’t receive the funds they should and all sorts of other things.  I couldn’t fully grasp all that Sandra was saying because it was confusing and so new to me.  I hope to find out more about the legal issues that surround these children amongst everything else.

16 February 2010

            Today was very similar to yesterday.  We are starting to fall into more of a routine at the House and I’m very happy about that because I feel that is best for the children.  Once again our morning started out with lots of learning about the different children and their backgrounds.  Some of the stories we heard today were more depressing.  We learned about Tylo.  His mother was working hard to get on her feet so she could care for Tylo on her own, things got rough and she hung herself and now Tylo has family coming out from all over the place trying to claim him when they were never interested in helping before.  Then there is another little boy whose mother dragged him around in a black bag and that is where he was found.  It seems so unreal that these smiling children whom I’m falling in love with have such horrific stories.  Knowing their backgrounds helps because it allows me to be more compassionate and patient while also keeping in mind that I need to be stern and teach these children because they have no parents to do it.   

           

I was able to spend some one on one time with Kudu and Cedriano again today.  We read books and tried to put together puzzles.  I so badly want them to repeat what I say and to talk, it’s hard to understand why they aren’t when I’m working so hard with them, and they are old enough to do so.  Slowly I’m becoming aware of how many of the children and behind developmentally and how important patience and persistence is.

           

One thing I wanted to learn last week was how to get Cedriano to smile.  I’ve accomplished that by just running with him and chasing him.  The little guy will smile and laugh but that is the only time.  Now my next goal is to get him to speak, to even just nod yes or no.  I’ve heard him talk or make noises briefly with the other kids but not with anyone else, ever.  Cedriano is four. 

           

I learned more about the adoption process today.  At the start of yesterday I was creating dreams in my mind about my parents somehow coming home with one of the children after they come visit.  Quickly I realized adoption from the House is more like a three year process and I was in a dreamlike state getting ahead of myself.  However, I would like to learn why the adoption process is the way it is because I’ve always felt as if adoption is something I would possibly be interested in my future so I would like to learn more about myself and find out if I think that desire is real!  

Week 2 at the House

8 February 2010

            I was so happy to be back at the House today!  I was in the nursery again today and things went even smoother because they weren’t other volunteers there today.  I specifically got to spend some one on one time with a little girl I was with last time that we call “kuku” and I also spent time with a little boy named Leonardo.  Kuku and I went to the pre-school with the older kids for a bit and I tried to get her to learn animal names and they we spent time coloring.  I just sat with Leonardo and pushed him in a stroller because he has a cracked femur and a big cast and it’s apparent that is often in a lot of pain.  I was glad to see he was in a cast because last Tuesday the poor boy couldn’t be moved or touched without screeching out in pain so while it’s sad that his bones are so frail I’m glad that he’s getting taking care of.

            One of the most important things that I learned today are many of the children’s names in the nursery and their ages.  The oldest boy in the nursery is Leonardo who is four.  I also found out Kuku has a sister who is in the pre-school aged group and she is not HIV positive which was a hopeful thing to hear.  I was also surprised to find out that there are a handful of children who’s parents come to see them or even take them out occasionally.  This leaves me with mixed feelings.  On one hand it’s wonderful for the children to know their parents.  However, on the other hand they are exposed to so, so many people that I’m afraid it confuses them more or will leave them disappointed.  They latch onto anyone who gives them attention yet none of the children know my name because they all instinctively call a woman who gives them some attention and care “momma.”

            Today I discovered that some of the caregivers have incredible stories as well as the children.  I would like to learn more about their lives too and what has brought them to the House.  I think all of these things will come as I continue to spend time at the House.  Everyone seems open and willing to talk so I just need to take the first step and ask the different people working at the House questions.  I also just need to learn more about HIV and AIDs in general because I don’t know what symptoms and side effects come from AIDs and am interested to know more.  I know some research could easily answer some of those questions.

9 February 2010

            Today was fantastic.  I had the opportunity to spend some real one on one time with a little boy named Cedriano.  I learned today that he is four and has depression; I didn’t know that it was possible for a child that young to be depressed.  However it makes sense as I have not yet heard him talk and today was the first time I saw him smile.  I took him off into a separate room to spend time with just him to do puzzles and read.  He did really well with the puzzles and seemed to enjoy the stories.  I was hoping to get some response from him during these things but did not.  However a little later after snack when we were trying to get the kids to burn off energy he actually ran around with the other kids and I chased him down and he starting laughing so hard.  Words cannot describe the overwhelming feeling of happiness I had.  After playing with him I played with Kuku who I’ve spent quite a bit of time with and she made me laugh harder than I have laughed since I’ve been here.  She was just jumping on me and kissing me like crazy, it felt so wonderful!  I was so happy to learn how to communicate with Cedriano and am so anxious to continue to learn more ways to communicate with all of the kids.

            I think the biggest lesson I learned today was not to give up on these kids, ever.  I got the impression that Cedriano was sad and adjusting and just wasn’t very happy and that was just the way it is, but I found that by trying extra hard there was a happy little boy that wanted to get out.  He was only laughing and smiling for a short time but it happened.

            Today our group discussed ideas about how to spend our fundraising money.  We are realizing the need at the House and Pendla elementary school are enormous, even with the $7,000 dollars we have raised so I want to learn what the House really, really needs.  I also want to learn what things would be the most substantial and ongoing types of things for the House.  I imagine I will learn this by continuing to pay attention to what I see and talking to the kids, and the matron.  I do know that however the money is spent it will be used well and that is really exciting and encouraging. 

First two entries

February 1, 2010 – Journal #1

Today I had my first volunteer experience at The House of Resurrection.  Arriving at the House was so exciting because the kids were thrilled to see us.  First, Aggie the matron at the house greeted us and told us to grab a kid and bring them with to the pre-school area.  I met a little girl named Sitsi.  The majority of our time was spent just playing with 11 of the kids at the House who are around preschool age.  We helped with snack, played games together, and colored with the kids.  My favorite time was spent holding and helping one of the youngest boys with some motor skills.

The most valuable thing I learned today was that as much as the kids need love, I need to not just give them what they want.  Constance the woman in charge of the kids while we were there was so good at loving on the kids but not allowing them to walk all over her.  This is something I will need to re-learn again and again because when one of the children reaches their arms up because they want me to pick them up it’s so difficult to say no and tell them to walk.  However I can see from what I learned today that in the long run that won’t help them because I will only be around to do anything and everything for them for 4 months so I want to help equip them with what they need to succeed and be happy.

It’s impossible for me to even know what else I need to learn because I know thee are countless things ahead of me to learn.  I still need to learn how to pronounce well over half of the children’s names because pronunciation is something that is difficult for me.  I know I will learn this within my next time or two at the House by asking others what kids’ names are and not being afraid to have the kids help me.  I know I will also continue to learn by not being afraid to ask questions, to try, and to make mistakes.  This whole experience is a learning process and I can’t wait to learn more from all the wonderful children and people at the House of Resurrection!

February 2, 2010 – Journal #2

            Today was my second day at the House of Resurrection and it went much better than the first day.  I worked in the nursery with the babies and adored it.  I got to help by giving the babies their snack of a biscuit and juice.  Next we had to give them each their medicine, which came in a little syringe.  Other than that I spent my time just holding them, helping them try and walk around, rocking them to sleep, counting with them, and just giving them attention.

            I also learned a ton more today.  Upon arriving we were told more about the AIDs Haven and the kids there and the history of the orphanage.  I didn’t realize how far the House has come because it used to be a place for kids to come and die with dignity, but now they have much higher survival rates.  Last year they only lost one child, but still I got the impression that it’s not the norm for children to survive past 18 but I would like to find out if I got the right impression about that little tidbit of information.  I found out more about the different children’s’ backgrounds and specifically about two children a professor from our school is actually adopting.  Learning about this adoption that is currently in process inspired me to ask the matron how many of the children actually get adopted and she said hardly any of them because of the circumstances they are in which was saddening to me, but makes sense.  Some kids do go to foster moms though, which is encouraging. 

            Clearly I learned a lot today but everything I learned left me wanting to know more and more.  I want to learn about each individual child’s story and I think overtime I will get to learn about each of them because the two woman working at the House are open to telling us all of the stories.  I also want to learn about the House and how it operates to a greater extent.  The House is currently trying to change how it’s run to give the children more structure but I’m still quite confused about the changes taking place.  Today I got to see just how knowledgeable the people working at the House are and I am already gaining confidence to establish relationships with not only the children but also with the staff and people running the House which will allow me to learn more than I can imagine.  I’m very excited for what lays ahead after today.

Explanation!

AID’s Haven House of Resurrection Learning Diary for CSL

Here I’m just posting specifically about my experience volunteering each week.  My study abroad program requires everyone to volunteer at one of two locations each Monday and Tuesday from 8-12.  In order to gain credit for the volunteering and for our Community Service Learning class we have to journal after each volunteer experience.  I figured that since I’m already typing these reflections I would go ahead and post them too, especially so my parents can stay even more updated on my life!

Just to gain an understanding of what I’m doing… I volunteer at the House of Resurrection (House).  It’s an orphanage for kids with HIV/AIDs, however not all of the children are infected but 95% are.  Currently the House is home for 38 children ranging from about 6 months to 12 years old I believe.  The House is much nicer than I anticipated but there is obviously numerous things it needs.  The matron of the house is named Aggie and is one tough lady that nobody would want to mess with but she is wonderful and loves all the kids.  It’s a wonderful place that has really opened up my eyes to many of the issues South Africa is faced with after only being there for a short period of time!

These are the questions each blog is supposed to answer:

1. What did I do today?

2. What did I learn today?

3. What do I still need to learn?

4. How will I learn this?